David and I met for our first date at Dolores Park Cafe, but we met there because we’d found each other on Grindr — the gay, location-based dating app. We exchanged messages for about a week before deciding to meet up for coffee.
By the time we met in person, we had already established that we were somewhat compatible. Even so, I hesitated to tell people the truth about our relationship origin story.
‘If I told friends that David and I met on Grindr, they might decide our relationship wasn’t serious’
These days, dating apps are ubiquitous, but when they were first becoming popular, using one carried negative connotations. Location-based apps, like Grindr, were particularly stigmatized: Looking to meet up with a person nearby suggested you were only interested in a quick hookup.
There’s nothing wrong with casual sex, but I worried if I told friends that David and I met on Grindr, they might decide our relationship wasn’t serious. I wanted them to see our partnership for what it was — an emotionally committed relationship, rather than a purely physical one.
I spent a long time thinking about what our story should be. I wanted a fake anecdote I could easily whip out whenever people asked, but I soon grew tired of lying. More than that, I realized that my dishonesty was contributing to the stigma surrounding dating apps.
‘It shouldn’t matter how you found the person whose company you enjoy’
Once I started telling people the truth about how I met my husband (we married in November of 2015), I noticed friends and co-workers also spoke more openly about their experiences using dating apps. The stigma still exists, but I think we’re making strides.
It shouldn’t matter how you found the person whose company you enjoy. Personally, I like going into a first encounter with some crucial information already in place (even if that means obsessing over a person’s dating profile and performing some light cyber-stalking).
But hey — I’m not going to judge you for how you met your romantic partner if you won’t judge me for how I found mine.
Source: Gay Star News